


Late

by impalabro



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, M/M, don't know what this is, human Cas yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 16:30:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impalabro/pseuds/impalabro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Dean was fine without that kind of attachment to Cas, happy enough with the platonic bond, but Cas didn’t live long enough for Dean to work that out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Late

Dean was pathologically oblivious at the worst of times, especially when it came to Cas. To Sam, it was as clear as it could be; his brother and his friend were hanging on the precipice of something great – in all possible senses of the word – but neither of them could or wanted to acknowledge it. It was all furtive glances and stolen smiles and, infuriatingly, no willing progression beyond that. Sam wasn’t one to broach the subject, but he’d confront Dean about it whenever he could slip it into conversation, and each time he’d almost manage to convince Dean to act on what he felt, to go the whole way with Cas because he didn’t have a lot else going for him, and if Sam had been lucky enough to find someone already so involved in their lives he would’ve clawed his way up from the depths of Hell for the chance. But Dean never had the guts – and who knows, maybe he was fine without that kind of attachment to Cas, happy enough with the platonic bond, but Cas didn’t live long enough for Dean to work that out.

They get a call from the police department one morning to Dean’s cell, and in a beat they see the covers of Cas’ bed untouched and Dean hears the low drawl on the phone telling them they’ve recovered a body. He’s gripped it so tightly that Sam has to force the thing out of his fingers and leans forward to take Dean’s weight because he’s swaying dangerously on the spot. The next he knows, Sam’s driving them in double time to the morgue while Dean peers out of the window blankly.

It’s Cas lying there, definitely Cas, and Dean asks Sam to give him a minute. It takes him a lot longer, though, to say his goodbyes, because Dean kneels down by him and doesn’t get up until closing time. They’re the last ones to leave the hospital, and Sam is just relieved that there isn’t any alcohol at hand, because Dean would be drinking himself into oblivion right now. It’s his main coping mechanism and Sam’s never been able to make him stop. According to the medical examiner, it was a standard hit-and-run in the middle of the night, and Dean’s throat closes up when they hand him Cas’ clothes in a zipped plastic bag.

“So what did you say to him?” Sam chances on the road home, trying to keep Dean talking instead of suffering in the toxic environment of his own head. Silence is never a good thing with Dean, he’s learned.

Dean runs a hand through his hair. “Uhh…you know,” he mutters, “the usual stuff.” He breathes in slowly. “I was angry, you know? He lives through all this crap as an angel and then he gets run over the minute he’s human. It’s so stupid. We don’t even know what he was doing out that late.” Pausing, he shakes his head. “I fucking loved him, Sam. I loved the guy and I swear to god he loved me back.”

Sam turns his head a fraction. “So you never told him?” 

Dean doesn’t respond, and Sam nods slowly. After all, there isn’t anything he can say now to make things better.

“You know you’ve been wrong all this time,” Sam hears him say. “We both knew it already. Cas knew, I knew. Sometimes we’d just look at each other, you know, and that’d be enough. We didn’t need to say it.”

And that’s the last thing Dean says that night, because when they reach the bunker he runs to his room and locks the door. It’s something he always wanted to do when his dad left him alone with Sam, for the sake of a few hours to himself, except they only ever rented one room so he couldn’t. This time, he stays up the entire night and when Sam comes out the next morning, Dean’s making breakfast like nothing happened at all.  


End file.
